Morning Trip (125)

“Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.”
–Rainer Maria Rilke

The REAL Start of This Year’s Garden

Originally posted on E's Garden Glories:

I have not been in physical shape this year to be doing much of anything.  I have been worried and fretting and afraid of losing my plot, of not having food ect. ect.  Yesterday, I was able to get my son to go with me to the weed plot and the pitiful 4 inch yellow-droopy leaved bean plant area.  He took the advice of one of the 84 year old garden neighbors and got the shovel in and then shifted it a few inches to do it again.  I am so glad that she was walking by, as she was right this was the best method for getting the plot area all cleared and he had not been able to listen to me nor to take action on my words.  He worked very hard and we (mostly he) got out all of the dead broccoli and cauliflower(it made tiny veggies…

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Autumn is always too early.
The peonies are still blooming, bees
are still working out ideal states,
and the cold bayonets of autumn
suddenly glint in the fields and the wind

What is its origin? Why should it destroy
dreams, arbors, memories?
The alien enters the hushed woods,
anger advancing, insinuating plague;
woodsmoke, the raucous howls
of Tatars.

Autumn rips away leaves, names,
fruit, it covers the borders and paths,
extinguishes lamps and tapers; young
autumn, lips purpled, embraces
mortal creatures, stealing
their existence.

Sap flows, sacrificed blood,
wine, oil, wild rivers,
yellow rivers swollen with corpses,
the curse flowing on: mud, lava, avalanche,

Breathless autumn, racing, blue
knives glinting in her glance.
She scythes names like herbs with her keen
sickle, merciless in her blaze
and her breath. Anonymous letter, terror,
Red Army.”
– Adam Zagajewski
translated by Renata Gorczynski
Without End: New and Selected Poems

Energy, Hands, and Enthusiasm

The thoughts coming to me this morning (or maybe coming from me this morning) involve both a sort of fret over potentially being misunderstood. In working on the personal flaw of this behavior in this particular instance, I managed to move onward beyond the rapid fire input of information, and to manage to attempt to place it in message form–if indeed that is what it was meant to be. Message for me and perhaps message for the one that I think might not have ‘got it’. Communication situations become even more important to me if and when I see that someone may have taken a bit of information that was intended to be releasing and shifting, and instead, use it by some felt resonancy to further entrench self in an (from my own view at least) enriched form of maladaptivity.

I thought it not the best option for me to take my quiet morning moments and to squander them rushing me off into a high spin, which can happen with the input of information, so I chose to shift myself and slow a bit, to become LESS resistant, to simply let it move, and perhaps to comprehend later. I moved toward music and sound to do it. I haven’t posted a Morning Trip in quite some time. The sounds being offered to me by the computer offering matrix at Youtube were giving me offerings that for me, are energetic shit. I realized this morning that these offerings came because of the listening choices that I had made that I thought felt good and ok. In fact, listening now, they were attempts to fend off what was at the time a constant bombardment of what was not ok. The tones didn’t match, they grated, they had rolling frequencies and were unstable. Very ungrounding for self and for others who do not get the message and let go of me(usually when I am working). The energy just doesn’t or cannot attach.

I spend a good amount of time disliking and clearing me and the room. I was still thinking about energy and how some believe and, perhaps are encouraged to believe, that sucking in all energy all of the time is great, and it is morally, ethically, and energetically sound practice. I recalled again what I learned how to feel for myself, due to an old friend who put up with my demanding to feeeel it, so that I could understand it and to know it for myself, show me, let me feel it, become it! Grounding! Before everything and anything else besides living and breathing, though done even in and excellently with just a simple breath. Human balance, optimization, everything after grounding a conscious choice again and again and again. It is rare that I see anyone talk of this, teaching this. Instead there is a system of commmercialism going along with it..MORE IS BETTER, YOU NEED MORE, WITH THIS (insert new improved fancier richer product or gadget here) YOU WILL BE BETTER, MORE THAN, CLOSER TO ENOUGH. The reader might be able to tell that I do not agree. I think that there does not need to be agreement as, much like a child who thinks it can eat container after container of candy, even with admonishment that said child will become ill, it can take repeated episodes of vomiting for the child to associate the consequence with his or her actions.

I will leave you for today and continue another time with this article–some of its bits I can agree with, some I do not, and some I view as true, and some not for me in my own experience. It addresses points which have to do with hands and energy, which to some equates with thriving, enthusiasm and physical vigor. For some of these same I would like to shift perspective there a little and perhaps attempt to assist in an understanding of how to monitor one’s energetic status from within, one’s external physical energetic space, and what one might do with them. It is also important (from my view) that one understands what one’s doing and one’s choices cause effect like ripples. I have seen the urge and the brightness that comes to the individual when one realizes that one might play with energy. Many call this healing, but decide for self what is best without being able to see all that came before and all that will come after what seems like a harmless action. Here is the link to the article: Subtle Body Energies: Hands: Energy Transmitters

Edit: I also decided not to worry while writing and even posting about sense. That is not to say that sense is not important, it simply impedes my own expression and can get in the way of the message. I will read and edit as I notice a need. I often think in pictures that move at the speed of old movie images that can be so quick that I only get a flash of color. My brain understands what it is, though can get jammed up organizing an output that is slow enough to make it out of my body through my voice or my hands. I spend a lot of time silent due to worrying that a thing will sound jumbled and uneducated. That part is insecure and finding a way to express and then making it cohesive might be the better way.

Finally Got Combination to Shed and Put in Beans and Zucchini

Originally posted on E's Garden Glories:

I just got back from weeding and turning the plot (again).  Z did most of it for me, shoulder still not permitting what I’d like, though there is improvement in ROM.  I put in the one small, still potted zucchini plant that has had two blooms upon it, tiny as the plant still is from lack of space to root and to grow leaves.  I am hoping that it will still be able to produce.  I only got one this year so that no food would be wasted.  I got in eight bush bean plants too.  Two of the broccoli plants went to seed, another is producing a nice tight tiny head.  The cauliflower and the other broccoli need to be watered much more then they have been, everything would do with fertilization.  Hopefully it is not too late to catch up, as now I can use the hose for…

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