Playing With Peonies

I haven’t done any photography for a long time. My neck and shoulders were injured and I could not hold up the camera. Then I injured ankle and balance, so I could not walk to keep up strength, so lung disease made it so just getting to the car was difficult. I have had the grace of having an I phone SE for nearly 2 years. It was FREE! Who knew the disabled financially challenged me would EVER get a cellphone, let alone an Apple Anything?! My computer broke and with it went the photo editing software and all of my image files in a place I could work with them. So, I pouted, I grieved, and I felt sorry for myself. I sucked the joy out of the whole reason I took them in the first place. I’ve been out taking images for grandchildren and friends. I can’t really see in the glass the quality of the pictures, so I am really getting practice letting go of outcomes. YIKES! My mind screams SIN Devastation, Disaster! ha! So, here are some peonies from the phone:

Morning Trip (364)

“Self-judgement is the root of our suffering. When we self-judge, we aren’t able to see and enjoy who we really are at this very moment, because we are constantly evaluating ourselves by an illusory standard set by our own agreements. We have been conditioned to believe that our self-acceptance relies on our accomplishments.”
—-Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., Living a Life of Awareness

Morning Trip (363)

“It finally did. I did not have some beautiful Hallmark moment when I threw back my shoulders with a big smile, dusted off my hands, and got back to work… It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what’s keeping things running right. We’re bugs struggling in the river, brightly visible to the trout below. With that fact in mind, people like me make up all these rules to give us the illusion that we are in charge. I need to say to myself, they’re not needed hon. Just take in the buggy pleasures. Be kind to the others, grace the fleck of river weed, notice how beautifully your legs scull….”
—-Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird p. 180-181

All Out of Still — Orphan Wisdom

A few months ago a certain degree of unspectacular life adversity leaned over to me and whispered: “What if you stop for a while? You were obliged off the road anyhow by the plague. Why not go the rest of the way there, and choose stillness?” Clever fellow. Years ago I remember coming across some stout…

All Out of Still — Orphan Wisdom

GOSH! I am SO grateful for the above post from Stephen Jenkinson. It put words to all the things, and in them, I became still. The still, for me can then leave room for creation. Of what!? My built in forgetter thinks it gets to control that outcome. Sometimes I believe my actions are proof that I can. The part feeling so proud and SEE yes I did! and Control is GOOD! Is all perked in the I Have Arrived pose. And then, the muscles start to quake and to shiver. The pose doesn’t hold up for long. It collapses in exhaustion long before my thinking, my mind even begins to notice. While I write it, I’m smiling like an indulgent parent watching a toddle learn… But IN it, oh I believe it’s Hell! I’m prone to grab, and to shove, and to rant. Thank you, Sir, for the Spring in my step. For now.

Morning Trip (362)

“A good practitioner is not someone who no longer has any anger or suffering. This is not possible. A good practitioner is someone who knows how to take good care of her anger and suffering as soon as they arise. Someone who does not practice does not know how to handle the energy of anger when it manifests, and he or she can easily be overwhelmed by anger.”
—-Thich Nhat Hanh, Anger Wisdom for Cooling the Flames

Morning Trip (361)

“Then as you get distracted by everyday life, you begin to forget this new perspective and your focus slips from your Person Dream to the Dream of the Planet. Your harmony is shaken as you give in to the illusion. But before long, you have another moment of clarity, and you start the process again—-this time with a little more resolve and a little more experience.”
—-Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr., Living a Life of Awareness, p.196