Morning Trip (327)

“One of the basic problems in close relationships is the tendency to expect the other person to be and act the person you want them to be. It takes considerable maturity to allow the other to live his or her own life. You may have certain needs that you hope your friend or lover or family member will fulfill. You may live by certain rules and habits that you hope everyone will adopt. You may have a worldview that works for you, and you can’t understand why someone closer to you doesn’t share it. This clinging to self-interests has to change. You may have to learn to appreciate and ultimately enjoy the other person’s ways and especially the mysteries that lead them on.

Allowing the other his or her own life and destiny is a spiritual achievement, a religious act, if you will, that raises the relationship above the level of mere human connection.”

–Thomas Moore, A Religion of One’s Own, quote encountered on the Perpetual Journal dated 8.25.14 of Rosemary Washington Chapter Two

Morning Trip (240)

“In my research I’ve found that the same can be said for the conspiracies we make up to justify stereotypes and to explain that fight with our partner or the disapproving look from our boss or child’s behavior at school. We make up hidden stories that tell us who is against us and who is with us. Whom we can trust and who is not to be trusted. Conspiracy thinking is all about fear-based self-protection and our intolerance for uncertainty. When we depend on self-protecting narratives often enough, they become our default stories. And we must not forget that storytelling is a powerful integration tool. We start weaving these hidden, false stories into our lives and they eventually distort who we are and how we relate to others.”
–Brene Brown, Rising Strong