“The Zen disciple sits for long hours silent and motionless. Presently he enters a state of impassivity, free from all ideas and all thoughts. He departs from the self and enters the realm of nothingness. This is not the nothingness or the emptiness of the West. It is rather the reverse, a universe of the spirit in which everything communicates freely with everything, transcending bounds, limitless. There are of course masters of Zen, and the disciple is brought toward enlightenment by exchanging questions and answers with his master, and he studies the scriptures. The disciple must, however, always be lord of his own thoughts, and must attain enlightenment through his own efforts. And the emphasis is less upon reason and argument than upon intuition, immediate feeling. Enlightenment comes not from teaching but through the eye awakened inwardly. Truth is in the discarding of words, it lies outside words.”
– Yasunari Kawabata
“And I have felt
A presence that disturbs me with the joy of elevated thoughts;
a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean, and the living air,
And the blue sky, and in the Mind of man;
A motion and a spirit, that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thought,
And rolls through all things.”
– William Wordsworth
I have the computer, it DID have a virus.
Then, I said what about that fan issue…and he said what fan issue, and then he said I don’t hear a fan, that’s not good. (Guy who worked on it left for medical appt.)
off came the side of the puter and he said yup fan bad
and then I heard those bad phewwwwwwwwwwww sounds from owner.
Very close to the sounds a mechanic will make when he thinks a job is done and then checks one more thing ….
Some tiny can looking and highly important things on my motherboard are leaking and …
I’m sad. I haven’t funds for another computer. This is my lifeline and my link to sanity. It’s the only place on earth that I can be who I am or lie to myself and if anyone has anything to say about it, it’s me. (sometimes friends will holler out a whooooooooooooooooa woman what do ya think yer doin’)
I have tried all day to find a way to resolve my whiny ingratitude. I thought of the prize that brought the computer. I thought of the grace of eleven years of having it and besides virus and one deceased hard drive, it has served me valiantly. Without it, I do not know if I would have been able to get what is inside, to the outside. I’m petrified.
The one who is not petrified is laughing like santa. It says IMAGINE if you had NOT had the virus alllllllllllllll of your writing and allllllllllllllll of your photography would just have exited the building. YOU have a chance to get it all backed up!! What a gift. (then that part wandered a bit and wished it would snow, just once–then apologized and told me not to eat the corn chips and to keep reading.
I looked outside. It took three hours for my snow wish to arrive. Maybe there is yet a miracle for me to discover hidden within the broken computer. We shall see!
I began writing this as a comment back to Dana over at Southern Herbalist. OH MY GOODNESS GOSH! I didn’t realize I missed the link before now (wednesday nov. 30)
I wrote: ha!
I knew before I hit the post that you’d tell me to clear it all and then sit with each one, to talk to it…and wait till I could hear it 😛
we so fuuuuuuuuuuunny!!
And then, I typed what follows, and then I decided I should just blog about it. So, here it is, my traveling back to myself…
I cleared the table today, I was even moved to salt scrub the surface of the table AND the wood tray that held many of the items! Then I salted me! 😀
Then I said, in my meaningful combination of snark and really meaning it: Ok, You gave to me these things to help myself and then to help others. I am feeling stressed or ungrounded and I do not trust myself to choose what to do next. Please increase the energetic feeling of each so that I do not make a mistake that might harm myself or, in turn, others. (I had moved everything to the chair, washed the tray and put it outside to air dry. Scrubbed the abalone shells, with salt–which I never EVER do. Grabbed each item and got IMMEDIATE FEEDBACK! I didn’t feel broken. AND, I knew what to do with the things I needed to put out as having been finished or used up. I ground some, snapped some and put them all into the center of the cat-mint and wormwood bed and thanked them for their use, like I do with burned smudge. Daughter brought me home a giant chunk of stone with crystal and some forms of chalcedony inside–much like a geode, but without much hollow space. It’s on the table. Mason jar with dried bunches of lavender. I got these fresh over the summer wondering what possessed me to do so. I added a sprig from the junipers outside the front door and three sprigs of fresh rosemary. The candle came back. The selenite stayed too. The spent matches holder is full of cloves. The wands and other wood bits that very strongly said KEEP ME are now inside a basket with sweet-grass, sage, cedar and other such items. A tiny basket now holds all of my stones that I picked up and put all in one spot, to smudge, they seem happy there so I will see. Both baskets and feathers are on the cleaned tray!
House feels so much better kiddos shouted what are you doing to the house and they came down to SIT AT THAT TABLE!!!
Thanks for posting what you did Dana, I didn’t feel able or trusting me enough to take care of it without the impetus of your blog.