Morning Trip (189)

“Inner silence works from the moment you begin to accrue it. The desired result is what the old sorcerers called stopping the world, the moment when everything around us ceases to be what it’s been.
It is this moment when man the slave becomes man the free being, capable of feats of perception that defy our linear imagination.”
– Carlos Castaneda

Morning Trip (121)

“Anna pulls her face back from an orange lily, aware of its pollen and of the hovering bee. Its ancestors must have done the same, shimmering down a stem of chicory some day in 1561, here or beside the church in the distance. She has noticed the gardien cycle past to unlock its doors. There must have always been a bee here to hear Catholic music and witness a verger’s arrival. The past is always carried into the present by small things. So a lily is bent with the weight of its permanence. Richard the Lion-heart may have stepped up to this same flower on his journey to a Crusade and inhaled the same presence Anna does before he rode south into the Luberon.”
–Michael Ondaatje, Divisadero p.77

Amends, Thinking About Lessons, and To Whom It May Concern

I often fail to see the Grace in a thing
until after, sometimes still, long after.

I often fail to express the Grace in a thing
my heart and my mind just cannot pin it down, with words that carry my meaning.

I grieve to think
that my lack somehow, has not taught you to notice nor to feel Grace.

I smile to think
of the many times that I fell down and then I got back up, to feel Grace myself.

I cry a little
to think of the bumps and mistakes that you will have to make, from which I failed to save you.

I grin a little
to know that I would make such a glaring mistake, and keep you from your own Grace.

I watch, and I wait, and I hope for you a life of joy, of peace, and of a love that truly suits you.
With all of my being.