Enthusiasm and Life On Life’s Terms

“Think on This…
. . . to meet the disturbing factors with as much joyousness as if they were bringing pleasure in the material sight, will alter . . . much in the heart and mind of the seeker. For that which is is a result of the thinking of individuals as related one to another.
Reading 610-1”

Hmm. I remember when I could do this and I could say this and I could really mean it!! I truly lived it. It wasn’t fluffy self-help garbage nor delusion. Today, as I read this in my inbox, part of me said, “YES!, Remember that!?! Yes! Do that!” Another part said, “Oh Bullshit!” It also muttered some choice curses. A part that I think is probably closer to the truth recalled how such things termed heavy now were pretty much the same, though different and I had that Joy, I wasn’t tired, I wasn’t as afraid. I wasn’t clinging with my teeth gripped onto a last shred of stability. I am smiling to have shared a few of these views today, out loud. I think that being positive also means sharing how things really are. I think that many of the nudges over the last few days from friends, strangers, and even enemies are my Higher Power nudging me a bit. I notice in my now kvetching to God about fruffy messages and all the hard work I’ve done meaning shit, IS AN ATTEMPT AT COMMUNION with my God. I am at my worst when I am out of that communion. I avoid it as I do not seem able to do it ‘properly’. THIS AVOIDANCE AND PERFECTION are danger signs for me. The invisible police attack and fine me. They tell me not to bother, and that I have other, perhaps better, or worse things to attend. I think God knows what I am screaming inside in frustration and in despair. I also think that I forget to ask. Forget to share–ok avoid sharing that which will seem like a rant, but is truly my real life. I can’t survive pretending it’s ok. I can’t survive by moving back toward the If Only This or That, THEN I will have joy, be ok, be grounded, have balance, find things that please me, fill in the blank.

The joy of seeing the nudges in the things that others write, allow me to borrow them, when I cannot do it myself. They remind me of what I did do, what I CAN do. They provide me with an open window that I cannot notice because I feel trapped inside a ‘house’ where I insist that the doors are all closed. I thank one and all for this sounding spark.

Morning Trip (113)

“The Zen disciple sits for long hours silent and motionless. Presently he enters a state of impassivity, free from all ideas and all thoughts. He departs from the self and enters the realm of nothingness. This is not the nothingness or the emptiness of the West. It is rather the reverse, a universe of the spirit in which everything communicates freely with everything, transcending bounds, limitless. There are of course masters of Zen, and the disciple is brought toward enlightenment by exchanging questions and answers with his master, and he studies the scriptures. The disciple must, however, always be lord of his own thoughts, and must attain enlightenment through his own efforts. And the emphasis is less upon reason and argument than upon intuition, immediate feeling. Enlightenment comes not from teaching but through the eye awakened inwardly. Truth is in the discarding of words, it lies outside words.”
– Yasunari Kawabata

The FIRST Cauliflower in the Universe!!

–ok FINE!
It’s just in my garden. (rolls eyes and clucks tongue at your lack of enthusiasm)
I had nervously faithfully been peeking down into the center of my cauliflower plantings. I had been searching growing the plant, because I never have done so, and I…well all I could do was to peer at it, entreat it to produce at the appropriate time, As God Saw Fit…

–ok FINE! (waves you away while doing a similar version of the above actions)

Maybe more as I saw fit. It has been like making my mother-labeled figure do one of her nicer things and whack and whack and whack whack whack, that mangled can of Pillsbury crescent rolls onto the counter so that I could see the Pillsbury Dough Boy pop out and do the giggle, JUST FOR ME!!!!

It was only overnight, it might have been a day or two–or I could be blind as a bat, and the next morning, when I went to feed the cat, I saw

THE FIRST CAULIFLOWER IN THE UNIVERSE The First Cauliflower in My Garden. The author, she made me cross that out, I might hate her at the moment–such a stodgy women of the literal and the blunt and the honest (hell doesn’t she understand creativity AT ALL?!?) Oh dammit, now I have talked too much and I have missed the appropriate awed faces of appreciation at MY FEET, uhm no FEAT…

The First Cauliflower in the Universe--ok just my garden

VOILA! ET TAAA DAAAAAAA!!! (exaggerated bowing and the flipping back of magic satin cape lined in purple, of course)

Here also is the most lovely shades of green ever created by Me…

Most Lovely Green copyright

WAIT!!!

Beforeeeeeeeeeeeeee she has a rant, God did that too!! None of the peppers looked the same, in shade, if one was studious, and I was. Creating is so amazing!!! It seems so much more obvious in the garden than in many other places.

Now, I’ve got to go…I planted beet seeds and mixed salad greens seeds…I also have to learn how to thin the collards they are so perfect with their little fractal shapes all lined up on a row at the same time!!

Morning Trip (99)

“We gaze with perplexity at the highest part of the spiral of force that governs the Universe. And we call it God. We could give it any other name: Abyss, Mystery, Absolute Darkness, Total Light, Matter, Spirit, Supreme Hope, Supreme Despair, Silence. But we call it God, because only this name – for some mysterious reason – is capable of making our heart tremble with vigor. And let there be no doubt that this trembling is absolutely indispensable for us to be in contact with the basic emotions of the human being, emotions that are always beyond any explanation or logic”.
–the Greek author Nikos Kazantzakis

Morning Trip (95)

“We gaze with perplexity at the highest part of the spiral of force that governs the Universe. And we call it God. We could give it any other name: Abyss, Mystery, Absolute Darkness, Total Light, Matter, Spirit, Supreme Hope, Supreme Despair, Silence. But we call it God, because only this name – for some mysterious reason – is capable of making our heart tremble with vigor. And let there be no doubt that this trembling is absolutely indispensable for us to be in contact with the basic emotions of the human being, emotions that are always beyond any explanation or logic.”
–the Greek author Nikos Kazantzakis

Something Different, The Path, and A Work in Progress

I am writing this one as I move through it. I yelled at myself and stated the question…Whyyyy would anyone want to read a post before it was done, and why might they come back over and over, without getting annoyed??

Another part laughed and thought that the selection: The Path, was a great one. If I am waking up, what will I do with it. Have I been ‘lost’ and off of my ‘path’? I feel like it. The laughing part says..shhhh, listen to the dew on each blade of grass as you move through the sound and move through the tree place with your mind. Remember, you can do that!!

The sun is coming up. Trees are moving in their slow tree ways. Heavier drops fall through greenery to the floor of the praying circle near the Tree of Many Faces. Morning birds and butterflies flit from hidden leaf to hidden stem of weed and plant. All, spin and turn and each do their job, as created to do.

I wonder, do they wonder if they have a path, is it right or wrong?
Shush, keep moving, now stand still listen and feel the waking space of ground.

Follow swaying root down, reaching limb up, light and air and water sparkle touch each and all.

God is Moving!

Off to listen for a bit. Maybe I’ll come back. 🙂

Morning Trip (81)

“I am dust particles in sunlight.
I am the round sun.

To the bits of dust I say, Stay.
To the sun, Keep moving.

I am morning mist,
and the breathing of evening.

I am wind in the top of a grove,
and surf on the cliff.

Mast, rudder, helmsman, and keel,
I am also the coral reef they founder on.

I am a tree with a trained parrot in its branches.
Silence, thought, and voice.

The musical air coming through a flute,
a spark of a stone, a flickering

in metal. Both candle,
and the moth crazy around it.

Rose, and the nightingale
lost in the fragrance.

I am all orders of being, the circling galaxy,
the evolutionary intelligence, the lift,

and the falling away. What is,
and what isn’t. You who know

Jelaluddin, You the one
in all, say who

I am. Say I
am You.”
–Rumi