Enthusiasm, Examination, and a Thank You to Kathy

“The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. Let a man lose everything else in the world but his enthusiasm and he will come through again to success.”
–H. W. Arnold

The Thing that Reminded me of Shame, and Joy, and Tears

Sometimes, we need support and it comes from magical places. There are so many things that I teach myself to believe that society expects. Then I convince myself that what I know to be correct, is not correct, and then I am lost and I am hopeless. I love this video and the man to whom I spoke this morning. It reminds me of who I am and what I can do. It frees me to do what works and to use the tools that I know to be effective to help my children. If I share my tools I can bring this joy and release to others. I am so sorry that I allowed me to forget. I do not know how to amend myself and those affected by my error. I can only cry for a minute, grieve for a minute, and stand back up.

Creating Like a Winter Tree

This morning I am burbling along. This is good! I promise! Well, unless one is the stodgy sort and thinks that being stony is all that there is. But I will just giggle and flow right over that stone. Win win situation!

I haven’t been writing. I have been experiencing things for which there are no words. Or, more likely the expression is ‘stuck’. If I type that I listened to water, you cannot see it and hear it and smell it as I did in that one space. I want to share that moment and I want to take part in those moments of experience of others so that I see and feel the way of another. How do I know that water moving does not trigger energy flowing across ones skin? How do I know the why and how of one who does NOT feel such a thing, but smells it instead. (the energy, not the water itself)

How do I bypass a judgement of sorts, one of feeling sorry for those who cannot experience as I do? Are they missing something? Am I bored with simple and flat? Why? How can the other not seek these things out? Not notice what I term dead? Is it right of me to term it dead? Can a person’s spirit miss what it does not know what it has?
How will I know if I do not ask? Try on another skin? How do I get past this? I can tend to feel trapped or bored, I think, within a not-feeling, not expressing. How do I know when there is truly a nothing there? How will I notice those things outside of my own experience? I am quite sure that is a sure bet–that I am and will miss them too!

And then, the trees! (You thought I was off on an excited expressive tangent and that I hadn’t clearly pointed out the blogs relation to the title didn’t you?) I detest winter. still. shrugs.

The trees often do not even talk in the wind. Though, I did notice it this year, it just has a different tone and I have to shift state a bit to get it clearly. They are just there. One cannot tell which tree is dead and which will be in full leaf come spring and summer. Yesterday waaaaaaaaay up the trees were talking! And I listened and I had to reach because these were so tall and it was faint and I got there and…

Glorious purple buds!!! Glorious chartreuse buds!! I could seeeeeeeee the life with my eyes!!! I needed proof about this thing, in this way! This allowed me to notice tiny life alllllll around. A key in my lock! And I thought of ‘those people’ that I frown at for needing proof. Five steps back for every one forward. AND I AM ONE OF THEM!!! This made me very very happy! I can understand! Now, will it stick for longer than a minute (the other end of this issue, the stick of concept and experience long past an AH HA moment)

So, off I go to experience!