Morning Trip (130)

“The problem is that most people feel cozy enough in samsura. They do not really have the genuine aspiration to go beyond samsura; they just want samsura to be a little better. It is quite interesting that “samsura” became the name of a perfume. And it is like that. It seduces us into thinking that it is okay: samsura is not so bad; it smells nice! The underlying motivation to go beyond samsura is very rare, even for people who go to Dharma centers. There are many people who learn to meditate and so forth, but with the underlying motive that they hope to make themselves feel better. And if it ends up making them feel worse, instead of realizing that this may be a good sign, they think there is something wrong with Dharma. We are always looking for a way to make ourselves comfortable in the prison house. We might think that if we get the cell wall painted a pretty shade of pale green, and put in a few pictures, it won’t be a prison anymore.”

–Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, Into the Heart of Life

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2 thoughts on “Morning Trip (130)

  1. I have been thinking of your words as I struggle with my insides and my outsides over the continuing violence, threatening words and cursed name calling that I have been enduring for months while trying to decide of one of my children is seriously mentally ill–and incompetent local care(as was the same when she was young–before we got treatment at a major medical center) or is just abusive and needs to be put out. I wonder then if I am decorating or if I am trying with the last strength and remnants of grounding that I’ve got to try to notice one thing at a time–this feels comforting, this feels of peace. As I am noticing the things, and the drive to make the environment aesthetically and energetically pleasing matches the process of grounding, though I wonder at the health of that (and probably the futility). I recall addictive measures to attempt to have or to feel in control of outside things and wonder if it is just another way to cope, or to pretend. I wonder if I am in trouble deep. As tears fall I laugh and think that maybe, this time I am noticing the reflecting of my arranging and my higher power’s arranging and then perhaps just getting bored and doing it again. I am not static, though I seek stability.

    I did not expect my answer and my thoughts to come out in this way. I know that they are heavy. I know that you have your own things. Please do not think upon it or tax you. I am glad for the outlet of sharing this in writing so that I can’t run from it and that another human being has perhaps seen it and me for a moment.

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